Dear 2017, Be Gentle With Me

Slow Thriller New Years by Felicity Aspden


Like most things in my life, I have a love/hate relationship with New Year’s resolutions. The optimistic part of me (the same part of me that also has a deep-seated love affair with chic stationary) has an eager desire to create lists of things that I want to overcome and achieve in the coming months whilst putting blinkers on the foresight that I’ll probably end up breaking most of them, like any normal human.

I’m a serial list writer. I try to empty the expanse of my mind by writing everything down, from the vague to the minutia, in the hope that there’s nothing left for my procrastination to feed on. It’s only when the ink has long dried on the paper, and the goals begin to be ticked off that I realise, I’m adding more than I’m ticking off. The list becomes daunting, and suddenly, it’s taking over my brain again. I have vivid memories of being a teenager and setting reminder after reminder on my phone about things I didn’t really need to remember, and my best friend’s eyes rolling into the back of her head when they pinged away incessantly on her bedroom floor.

The pessimistic part of me hasn’t even bothered to contemplate the idea of resolutions, and so far, the dark side has won. While it’s fun to lounge around at Christmas and toy with the idea of resolutions and overcoming current obstacles in the new year, once January 1st eventually swings around you realise that nothing has really changed, that you were still the same person with the same faults you were last year (or a week ago in this case), and a list of resolutions just seems like a burden.

In an attempt to unburden myself and create a coalition between both my pessimistic and optimistic side, I have decided to make some resolutions, and make them as short and sweet as possible. My aim is not to give them intense thought and instead, let my gut reaction and fingers do the talking, whatever pops into my head is going straight down on the page.

Stop being so hard on myself. Stop letting anxiety take the wheel. Hone my skills and keep on improving them. Practice makes perfect. Stop giving up. Text people back. Be more social. Learn to live with my flaws. Explore my city. Embrace my professional fears. Be fabulous. Make Mumma proud.

Oh, and I hope everyone has a spectacular 2017!

 

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